One Night
by Wishing-for-a-Zoro-plushie
Summary: No pairings. Zoro gets drunk... and then gets Luffy drunk and chaos ensues NOT A ZOLU!Rated for drunkeness and swearing. lol


**This is a ridiculous little one shot that has been bothering me for ages, so I wrote it up. It is not meant to be ZoLu, but I am sure ZoLu fans will take it that way... But, it is not meant to be a ZoLu at all. Quite basically, it's just what I think would happen when Zoro gets drunk on the Going Merry.**

**Disclaimer: Yeah yeah, you should all know by now that I don't own One Piece. The only thing I own is Zoro's empty rum bottles. **

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_**One night**_

"Llllluffy." Zoro slurred. The captain looked up just as his first mate slung an arm over his shoulder.

"Zoro, are you drunk?" Luffy asked. Both of them had been assigned to watch that night and Zoro had been less than happy about it. In fact, he had drowned his sorrows in… Luffy looked at the mound of bottles. That must have been the whole supply of Zoro's alcohol!

"Me?" Zoro asked, and then stumbled forward, accidentally spilling some of his precious rum over Luffy, who wrinkled his nose, "I don't get… uhh, what was the word?"

"Drunk?" Luffy supplied. Zoro grinned.

"Right." and he staggered away again. Luffy sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. How was he going to get Zoro to calm down _this _time. Last time Zoro had gotten drunk, he had climbed to the top of the mast, crawled into the crow's nest, and then began singing 'It's a pirate's life for me' at the top of his lungs. Luffy had had to hit him over the head to get him to just calm down, and getting the swordsman to bed had been even worse. And now, Zoro was the same way, once again. Luffy could only hope the swordsman didn't decide to climb the mast again.

"Ha ha!" Luffy heard a cry and twisted around to see Zoro balancing on the rail. Or more like, swaying like a leaf in the breeze. Luffy's eyes nearly popped out of his head. If Zoro fell into the water, he wouldn't be able to swim in his drunken state. Not to mention, Luffy had no real chance of saving him. They'd both sink to the bottom of the ocean like a pair of rocks. The captain jumped over and pulled Zoro back onto the deck.

"Llllluffy!" Zoro cried, repeating what he had said before, "Have a drink buddy!"

"Err, no thanks Zoro." Luffy replied.

"Come on!"

"No."

"Drink!" and Zoro shoved the neck of the bottle into Luffy's mouth. The vile liquid burnt his throat and tongue as it made it's way to his stomach. Luffy pulled the bottle out and spluttered and gasped.

"What the hell -cough-!" Luffy cried. Zoro laughed, and then did the same thing again. This time, Luffy was a little slower to respond, and instead of spitting the drink out, he swallowed it. Actually, the more you drank, the better it became.

Needless to say, ten minutes later, Luffy was as drunk as Zoro… if that was possible. The two of them had climbed to the crow's nest (ironically) and were now singing two totally different songs. Zoro was singing 'Row your boat' while Luffy was singing "Twinkle twinkle little star'. Sanji walked out onto the deck, his eyes burning with rage.

"You two howling cats, put a damn sock in it!" he yelled. Luffy and Zoro paused, and looked down at Sanji.

"Cheese head!" Zoro called. Luffy burst out laughing and almost fell out of the crow's nest, which caused Zoro to burst out and then try to take a swig from his bottle… but it was empty.

"You stupid bastards! You're interrupting wonderful Nami's beauty sleep!" Sanji yelled. Zoro frowned.

"She needs it." he replied and both him and Luffy burst into uproarious laughter once again. Sanji glared. These two were seriously starting to piss him off.

"That does it! I'm coming up there!" he yelled and moved towards the mast.

"No g-girls allowed!" Luffy laughed. Zoro threw the bottle at him, and was amazingly close to his mark.

"What the captain said!" he called. Sanji clenched his fists together and grabbed onto the ladder, making his way towards the crow's nest.

"Uh oh, magic eyebrow's coming up here to cast a spell on us." Zoro commented.

"Maybe we should jump off." Luffy suggested.

"Good idea." Zoro replied and the two of them, jumped out of the crow's nest and landed on the deck with hard thumps. Sanji, who had been halfway up, stopped and looked at the two who were now laughing their heads off and rolling around on the deck. He frowned and quickly overcame the sense of concern that had been welling inside him.

"My ass hurts." Zoro commented. Luffy burst out laughing and fell onto his side.

"Mmm, the floor is nice." and he snuggled up on it, preparing to go to sleep.

"Oh no, not until you're back in your hammock!" Sanji said as he walked over to the captain and grabbing onto the boy's arm, he pulled him up.

"Naaa, Sanji!" he cried and struggled.

"Sanji's abducting the captain!" Zoro yelled and jumped up. Sanji sneered at him.

"And you, you're going to hear about this tomorrow morning, that's for sure." he growled.

"Ooooh, ssso ssscared." Zoro replied, his eyes drooping. He was obviously ready to be put to bed as well. But, if he collapsed on deck, Sanji would just leave him there. The captain would be put to bed, and covered up and tucked in, and Zoro would be left to lay on the cold hard deck. Oh well, that's the way the rum sloshes. And Zoro did just that. He collapsed on deck and snored. Sanji rolled his eyes and dragged Luffy down to the cabin, and lay him in his hammock. Luffy was asleep in seconds. Sanji didn't bother sending someone up to watch, after all, Zoro's snoring would probably scare them away.

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Next morning dawned bright and early, and Luffy and Zoro sat at the kitchen table, their faces drawn and pale, eyes half shut and hands on their heads. Hangover, worst thing to happen to a man. But Sanji had a cure. Hot coffee, and it woke the two up instantly. He had only done this so as to torment them. It would be the best time of his life for the rest of the day. First of all, Sanji made references to how Luffy had snuggled up to Zoro. Then, Sanji made references to how Zoro had tried to take off Luffy's pants.

"WHAT?" both of them yelled, jaws dropped open, and eyes widened. They were in shock. Luffy looked at Zoro, who looked at Luffy.

"Oh yeah, and Zoro kissed you Luffy." Sanji commented, leaning against the sink and watching the excitement unfold. Of course, none of this had actually happened.

"Oh, well, that's alright. Friends kiss each other." Luffy said, relaxing somewhat. Sanji raised an eyebrow.

"On the mouth?" he asked. Luffy jumped up from the table.

"Ew, Zoro!" Luffy cried before running out the door. Zoro blinked in astonishment and then saw the wide smirk on Sanji's face.

"You're lying." he said.

"Am I?"

"… I didn't do anything to Luffy." he replied simply and walked out as well. Then there was the shouting and Sanji began laughing, doubling over and holding his stomach as both the first mate, and captain, yelled insults at each other.

"HOW COULD YOU KISS ME?" Luffy yelled.

"I NEVER DID!"

"SANJI SAID YOU DID!"

"Luffy, honestly, do you believe everything that curly eyebrowed, moronic, wannabe chef says?" Zoro asked.

"…so, you didn't kiss me?" Luffy asked.

"No." at least, he hoped he didn't. Luffy sighed.

"Oh, that was worrying me. Okay!" and he bounded for the figurehead. Zoro shook his head and then turned to see Sanji glaring at him.

"What?"

"Wannabe chef?" Sanji asked quietly. Zoro quailed ever so slightly. He was really gonna get his ass kicked today…

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**Honest to God, how ridiculous was that? No plot, no point, just fun. But I hope you all enjoyed it all the same. Reviews, yes they are made of dreams. My dreams, and if you don't review, I am sure you will find a drunken Zoro sitting at the end of your bed, shouting that there are no girls allowed in his club. Please, don't ask what is wrong with me, because, I don't think even God himself knows. XD**

**End**


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